For the most part, political fundraising pitches skew alarmist, bordering on histrionic. That’s true of both major U.S. parties, of course. But only one of those parties is currently led by a black hole of iniquity who, when it comes to donor cash, is like a little kid who licks every kolache in the kitchen so no one else can have any.
Coincidentally, that’s the same party whose policies are so deeply unpopular they have to frighten people with imaginary crises and, when that fails, outright attempt to steal elections.
So what’s their latest tack? Ah, yes. Acknowledging that you don’t want to come to their kegger because they’re super unpopular now—but could you find it in your heart to show up anyway? And, oh, please bring 16 bottles of margarita mix. The Kirkland stuff should be fine.
Phil Williams, a reporter for NewsChannel 5 in Nashville, recently flagged a very sad ad from the National Republican Senatorial Committee’s official X account, in which the group complains that democracy is dying because people are being mean to Donald Trump—and because fewer people than ever identify as Republicans.
For the nontweeters:
FOR YOUR EYES ONLY
President Trump’s sham trials are underway & we need the help of every Patriot possible. The number of Americans who identify as Republicans has never been lower in HISTORY. Our Democracy is crumbling, & this is dire!
The tweet also asks viewers of the ad to click a survey called “HAVE YOU LEFT THE REPUBLICAN PARTY?” However, the link is to WinRed, the right’s questionable answer to Democrats’ ActBlue fundraising platform.
Wait, it says “FOR YOUR EYES ONLY.” Not sure I should be sharing this. Quick: Someone fire up the Dark Brandon signal and find out if he can declassify this tweet with his heat vision! Ah, never mind. It’s not like exposing top secret documents to rubbernecking randos is even illegal anymore.
Of course, the number of Americans who identify as Democrats is also at a low ebb these days, as more and more people are dropping party affiliations and asserting their political independence. But Democrats are currently running on restoring reproductive rights and the foundations of our democracy instead of, say, propping up someone found liable for sexual abuse who’s also been charged in four separate criminal cases. Democrats are too busy getting shit done to whine about how no one likes them anymore.
Both of those are bold strategies, of course; unfortunately, we’ll have to wait until November to see which is more effective.
Maybe Republicans are copping to their current unpopularity because it’s become so undeniable. Two years ago, their promised and much-anticipated red wave turned out to be little more than a minor nosebleed as pro-democracy and anti-forced-birth voters just said no to MAGA. More recently, the Iowa GOP caucuses saw their lowest turnout in decades.
And, perhaps worried that their donations will simply go to legal fees, 6-foot portraits of Donald Trump, and a brand-new Bible edition with a built-in cupholder and 40 pages of ancient Aramaic Buffalo wings recipes, many Republican donors appear to be taking a wait-and-see-if-Trump-is-swallowed-up-by-the-Earth approach to the upcoming election.
Pick up virtually any newspaper—or any virtual newspaper—these days, and you’ll see stories about how deep in the hole Republican fundraising is.
And it’s easy enough to see why. As Reuters reported:
One complication for Trump: The more he needs funds for his legal defense, the more some donors say they are reluctant to send money that is meant to help promote his candidacy with voters but that could be used to pay legal fees.“I’m not going to write him a check for $50,000 when I don’t know where the hell it’s going—to lawyers or who knows what else,” said a major California-based donor.“The biggest grumbling I hear from donors is they don’t want to give money if Trump turns around and uses it on his legal fees,” he added. He said he had heard that from more than half a dozen donors.
We’re seeing this fundraising gap everywhere these days.
Consider this timely missive noted by Milwaukee Journal Sentinel columnist Daniel Bice:
For the nontweeters:
State GOP says it just filed a report showing it has raised about $283,000 in the last 72 hours. That brings them up to nearly $395,000 so far this year, compared with $5.4 m for state Dem Party. That’s 13x more.
Of course, as 2016 so gruesomely reminded us, a cash advantage doesn’t necessarily guarantee electoral success—but it’s certainly indicative of enthusiasm. And post-Dobbs v. Jackson Women’s Health Organization, most of the energy and enthusiasm appears to be on the Democrats’ side.
Indeed, it’s hard to recall a time since Watergate when the Republican brand—and the party’s policy proposals—have been quite this politically toxic. This is not your great-great-great-great-grandfather’s GOP. Unless by some miracle he’s still alive. In which case he probably watches Fox News all day waiting for Tucker Carlson to come back and explain M&M sex to him.
Sadly, since the halcyon days of Abraham Lincoln, the Republican Party has gone from Leo DiCaprio in “Titanic” to Leo DiCaprio just a smidge after the bear attack in “The Revenant.” Or Leo DiCaprio at the end of “Titanic,” I suppose. But you get the gist. Things are not going so swimmingly for the Grand Old Party these days. And they know it. And now you know it, too.
So how ‘bout we make them cry some more? What do you say?
Check out Aldous J. Pennyfarthing’s four-volume Trump-trashing compendium, including the finale, Goodbye, Asshat: 101 Farewell Letters to Donald Trump, at this link.