10 Cats Who Don’t Even Get Beyoncé’s New Album, Because They’re Cats! Tabs, Tuesday, Apr. 2, 2024


Not cats. Tabs by your pal Martini Glambassador.

Good morning, let’s see what it is.

Florida! Fuck. Well, the Florida Supreme Court has let the most batshit abortion ban in the whole land go into effect. But the Florida Supreme Court has ALSO ruled that Floridians can vote on abortion! IN NOVEMBER. And Floridians also get to vote on weed. IN NOVEMBER. And what happens when people vote on abortion and weed? (Especially IN NOVEMBER?) So that’s a thing. Anti-abortion garbage humans are screaming about the ballot initiative, btw. [Washington Post]

Scuh-reaming. They hate it when voters vote. [JoeMyGod]

Speaking of Florida, everybody hates Florida, and that includes a shit-ton of the people who have moved there in the past few years. It might be partially because the average annual homeowners insurance premiums are now $6,000, and it might also be partially a bunch of other things. Like all the elderly Nazis who keep moving to the inland retirement communities. The normal people are icked out by them. And so forth. [NBC News]

Steve Bannon says Republicans shouldn’t even be trying to get votes from women. Good luck with that, Guy Who Looks More And More Every Day Like That One Gruff Grandma Who’s Always Running The Bake Sale To Raise Money For The Class Trip. [JoeMyGod]

Did Rebecca put this article about Trump creep fascist Ric Grenell (former ambassador to Germany, acting DNI) traipsing around the globe representing Trump like some kind of shadow secretary of State, as if Trump is literally anybody? If not, here it is. If so, here it is. [Washington Post]


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Donald Trump Jr. knows God was displeased with Joe Biden canceling the entire world’s Easter celebrations to appease all-powerful transgender people, because it rained for an hour or two in DC yesterday and there were a couple thunders. [Twitter]

According to The Scientists, you probably should drive to Totality on eclipse day. We might even do it, because it’s not that damn far. [Atlantic]

Oh noooooo scratch that! According to the very credible Jesus-wangers at Charisma News, the eclipse might start a big earthquake, right in the part of totality near our house! (That’d be the New Madrid Fault.) [Charisma News]

Speaking of Christian nationalist wackjobs, on Greg Sargent’s podcast this week, he talks to journalist Katherine Stewart about, um, those people, and the quiet promises Trump is starting to make to them. [The New Republic]

Marjorie Taylor Greene is mad at Mike Johnson, sounds important, just kidding. [The Hill]

Speaking of Ukraine, if you’re tired of waiting for Republican traitors in Congress to stand up for our allies against our enemies, Timothy Snyder has a list of ways you can personally help. Really. [Snyder]

Also check out his thoughts on the aftermath of the Moscow terrorist attack, relating back to Putin’s paranoia. [Snyder]

Want to listen to some Ukrainian folk music while you’re at it? Check out DakhaBrakha! We haven’t listened to much yet, but our bartender at our neighborhood watering hole says it’s great shit. He also says Amon Amarth is really great Swedish melodic death metal, says it’s is favorite thing to work out to. Just passing along the message, if he’s full of shit, don’t blame us. [DakhaBrakha / Amon Amarth]

If you are in Miami or anywhere nearby, or if you visit, we may have had the single best meal of our entire life last weekend at a place in Wynwood called Joey’s. Get the Fiocchi. [Joey’s Wynwood]

Finally, if you have not listened, yes, Cowboy Carter is wonderful, but oh boy, it’s a beast. We recommend digesting it in whatever size bites you can handle. Stream it where you stream your streams. [The Streams]


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